Trip to Ireland 2008

Part V

Wednesday, August 20th

Let me tell you, this morning’s breakfast can only be compared to a first date that exceeded all expectations. Lips kissed when it was thought that only hands would be held.  Shared dreams of future romance were expressed when only conversations of laundry were expected. 

The meal was constructed of salmon that was smoked locally, free range eggs, fresh Irish brown bread, and vegetables and herbs that joined in from Brian’s Care Bear garden, literally a dude’s length away. 

I thanked Brian for his hospitality and journeyed southwest along the coast into Helvic Head and on to Ardmore along roads that Americans would classify as footpaths.  Once in Ardmore, I went for a beautiful scenic cliff walk that took me along the coast of the town.  This walk took me past Declan’s Well and when I finished the hike, I drove over to Declan’s Church.  Not only was this the site of old church ruins, a great stone tower and a cemetery, it was also the site of my lunch.  Well done.

I then decided it was time to head north to my next destination of Clonmel.  In addition to being a beautiful town of 16,000 peeps along the lovely River Suir, it is also the home of Bulmer’s Cider, a sweet cider beer (they also make Strongbow Cider).  I remain more or less unaffected by this fact but I mention it for all you alcoholic diabetics. 

I checked in with Rita at the Hillcourt House and made awesome with a cup of tea in the family’s living room.  As I wildly dipped my biscuits in my tea, I looked at several graduation photos that hung on the wall.  From the looks of the pictures, some of the children seemed to be graduating multiple times.  I’m not sure if this was due to the pursuit of graduate degrees or if there was perhaps some graduation recall that required the student to repeat the process since the first graduation was defective in some way.  Everyone in the photos seemed pleased so I assume the reason was the former.

I unpacked, showered, dressed and walked into Clonmel center.  A satisfactory meal was dealt with at Tierney’s, one pint of Guinness was liquidated at Mulcahy’s and a walk home executed by Christofella.  Good night time, soldiers of the Sleep Army.

Thursday, August 21st

I ate breakfast, squared the bill away with Rita and motored my way to Shannon Airport.  I pulled into the Hertz Rental Return area and was annoyed when a Hertz employee said I damaged the front left tire of my little hushmobile.  He pointed out a tiny bulge on the sidewall of the tire that measured less than a quarter inch wide by two inches.  It was literally the size and look of a forehead vein…people will notice it but you’re not getting turned down to semi formals because of it.

For this tiny business, he charged me 85 Euros or roughly $127.  I made my distaste known to this Hertz minion and how ridiculous it was to charge someone that much for what was essentially a bagel.

“Well, I could have charged you 400 Euros ($600 bucks).”

He really said that.  What a dumb thing to say. 

And you also could have eloped with a dead cow but you didn’t because that has nothing to do with the true value of the tire.

Well, I left Hertz with a mild yet manageable case of agitation.  But by the time I was on the plane, the symptoms passed.  Other than the guy next to me spilling a beer all over the place, the flight was peaceful and successful. 

Once home, I stood in the sun and passionately asked why it saw fit to desert me in the past week.  There was no answer. 

I retraced the steps of public transportation I made eight days ago and returned to the comforts of 83 Willow Street.  And with this fellas and felletes, I bid you the most tender and hairy-chested goodnights I can possibly muster. 

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